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Speakeasy Warning Labels


The consuming of our elixirs may cause impaired vision and decision making. We cannot be held responsible for praying to the porcelain God, eating cat-food, carrying bologna and cheese in your pockets, crying and telling your best friends you love um', carrying large women on your shoulders, or sleeping with the linebacker looking goalie of the field hockey team.


Warning:

  • Consumption of this brew may make you believe you are invisible
  • Consumption of this brew may make you think that people are laughing WITH you.
  • Consumption of this brew may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
  • Consumption of this brew may lead you to believe people are laughing with you.
  • Consumption of this brew may leave you wondering what happened to your pants.
  • Consuming this brew may cause large gaps of time to disappear.

  • Other Warnings:

  • Consumption may create the illusion you are tougher, handsomer, and smarter than you really are.
  • Consumption of this brew may cause you to tell friends over and over again you love um'.
  • Consumption may also be a major contributor in dancing like an asshole or thinking you can logically score with the opposite sex.
  • Consumption of this brew may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are dying for a 4 am drunk call.

  • Our Last Warning:
    If reaching that inebriated stage it may cause you to believe your charm and wit has reached superhuman levels and that contact with members of the opposite gender will result in sexual achievement.


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